Girls! Girls! Girls!

VT and I used to be thick as thieves. We’ve lost contact over the past few years, but while we were still in college, we’d used to have a blast gossiping.

One such occasion, our gossip session veered towards a common friend of ours, RJ – who’s a well known radio jockey with one of the more popular radio channels in Chennai.

VT: Man, have you heard?

Me: Heard what?

VT: RJ is the new radio jockey at blah blah FM.

Me: Yeah… I read that in the papers!

VT: Can’t believe that b*tch is now famous!

Me: Hahaha..Why?

VT: That flat-chested, tomboy female.

Me: Chill!

VT: You know, there’s an age when girls stop becoming tomboyish and start doing girly things like make up and stuff. But not her! She continued being a tomboy! She’s got no boobs!

Me: Hahahaha… My friend met her recently, he was telling me that she’s got a nice pair now.

VT: Lies! All lies! She’s probably stuffed her t-shirt with socks!

Me: Hahahaha! No way!

VT: Dude! I’ll know. All girls know it when it’s fake! She’s as flat as a flat screen tv!

Me: Dude…. You know, you too fall into that category… Just saying…

VT: Yeah so? I’m pretty, I dress well and I’m girly! So it’s fine!

Me: Hahahaha…. Totally!

 

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The Guys Rules

My friend, IG sent me this forward. It was so hilarious that I HAD to share it with you.

I give you:

The Guys Rules

Atlast a guy has taken the time to write all of this down.
Finally, the guys’ side of the story. We always hear ‘the rules’ from the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note: These are all numbered ‘1’ ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want a solution. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said six months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after seven days.

1. If you won’t dress like the Victoria’s Secret models, don’t expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted in two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one .

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible , please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color! Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what Mauveis.

1. If it itches, it will BE scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say ‘nothing’, we will act like nothing’s wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear

1. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as football, cars, bikes or games

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. You are in shape. Round IS a shape!

This list  just made my day!