The Age Conundrum

Alcohol Level: 200 ml of Bacardi Breezer with 60 ml of Tequila and Smirnoff.

The f*** up thing about being 27 is that, you can date women who are above a certain age. For example, when you’re 21, you could date a 18 year old because the generation gap isn’t much and you probably just finished college as well. So both of you would enjoy the same things, such as getting smashed on the weekends and the weekdays. When you’re 25, you move the lower limit to 23 because you’d want to date someone who’s working as well. Both of you would have the same interests, which would include going out and actually doing things rather than just getting smashed otherwise.

At 27, if you were to date anyone below 24, you’d have no idea about what the latest fad is or the lingo is and you will come across as an ancient relic while hanging out with her friends. While good music for you would be Metallica, Guns n’ Roses etc, she would be into Nicki Minaj and all those one hit wonder skanks. You know what I’m arriving at, right?

Now time for the blog post.

Venue: At SV’s wedding.

Yes, that douchebag actually got married, to his best friend, nonetheless. Their love is a typical textbook one. They met in college and they became friends. He used to bang half of Chennai and she knew about it all. Then they grew closer post college and finally started dating when he joined her in Germany where she was pursuing her MBA. (I wonder why use the word ‘pursuing’. I mean, it’s not like she followed the MBA degree across continents and all. We could might as well use the word ‘doing’ or ‘studying’. #JustSaying).

LKB was eyeing a couple of hotties at the wedding. This was a TamBrahm wedding. So you couldn’t really walk upto them and start talking. Anyhow, after Le Gf got tired of LKB’s spineless approach, she decided to take matters into her own hands.

She walked upto to those hotties. The rest is… Continue reading!

Le Gf: Hi!

Hot Chick#1 & Hot Chick#2: Hi!

Le Gf: So…. My friend has been wanting to say hi for while….. So yeah… LKB!

Hot Chick#1 & Hot Chick#2: Hehehehehehee…!

*Yes, they giggled*

LKB: Eh….. Hi!

Hot Chick#1 & Hot Chick#2: Hi!

LKB: Hi, I’m LKB. You are?

Hot Chick#1 & Hot Chick#2: Hi, I’m S***** and this is D******!

LKB: Oh, nice! You have the same name as the bride!

Hot Chick#1 & Hot Chick#2: Hehehehehehe!

LKB: So, whose side are you on?

Hot Chick#1 & Hot Chick#2: Errr?

LKB: I meant the brides or the grooms?

Hot Chick#1 & Hot Chick#2: Oh, we’re friends of the bride’s sister!

LKB: Oh nice…..

Hot Chick#1 & Hot Chick#2: 🙂

LKB: So what do y’all do?

Hot Chick#1 & Hot Chick#2: Well, both of us are in our first year of B.Sc.

LKB: Oh…… That’s….Nice….. #FML

*I enter the scene*

Me: Hey!

Hot Chick#1 & Hot Chick#2: Hi!

Me: I don’t think we’ve met… I’m the dude!

Hot Chick#1 & Hot Chick#2: Hi, I’m S***** and this is D******!

Me: Oh, same name as the bride…. Nice!

Hot Chick#1 & Hot Chick#2: Hehehehe! We know!

Me: So… Brides side or the grooms?

Hot Chick#1 & Hot Chick#2: Brides!

Me: What do y’all do?

Hot Chick#1 & Hot Chick#2: We are currently in college. First year! 😀

Me: Oh….. That’s super! Ooops, I’m getting a phone call…. Be right back!

Hot Chick#1 & Hot Chick#2: 🙂

*Later*

Me: WTF, dude? They are underage! 

LKB: I know, right?

Me: Couldn’t you have found someone our age who likes to get smashed drunk?

LKB: 🙁

*Le Gf appears*

Le Gf: What are you both talking about?

Me: Nothing!

Le Gf: Where are those two babes both of you were talking to?

Me: Underage! That’s what happened!

Le Gf: Sigh, you uncles! 

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Classic Misdirection – 2

Thank god for misdirections! I’ve lost count, the number of times, I had to use one to get out of an awkward conversation.

I was at a friends wedding and I happen to ran into an old friend, PIC. A bit of a background info: I had a friends circle which had PIC, PIC’s brother and another friend of mine, TM. PIC’s brother and TM were dating at that time. After they broke up, we all took sides and I sided with TM, hence losing contact with PIC and his brother over the last two years. Also his IQ is lower than Steve Carell in Anchorman : The Legend Of Ron Burgundy.

He managed to corner me at the wedding, the conversation ranging from work, life, relationships and so on. Then the conversation started drifting towards his brother and his break up with TM (the break up was hilarious, in my opinion).

PIC: Hey, so you still in touch with TM?

Me: Yeah, we’re still in touch. 

PIC: That’s nice. You know, I missing hanging out with the old gang.

Me: Hmmmm, yeah, me too…. 

PIC: TM and I used to be good friends, you know. 

Me: Uh huh….

PIC: In fact, I introduced her to my brother..

Me: Yeah…

PIC: I dunno what went wrong. After their break up, she cut all contacts with me as well.

Me: Yeah, I know.

PIC: I can’t believe she could do that! I mean we were close man. 

Me: People move on, you should do the same.

PIC: I’ll tell you what, when we get back to Bangalore, why don’t the three of us go out? Just like old times!

Me: Errrrrr, I’m kinda busy these days….(TM hates the brothers, btw). 

PIC: C’mon man! For old times sake! 

Me: Hey! Have you noticed that the bride has got a tattoo on her left boob?!

PIC: Huh? Really?

Me: Yeah, see there!

PIC: Oh yeah..!

Me: Ok, gotta go. Nice meeting you!

PIC: Where you….. 

*I escaped! Like a boss*

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