The Correct Usage Of That’s What She Said

Those who cannot understand how to put their thoughts on ice should not enter into the heat of debate. – Friedrich Nietzsche

Lol. Gaand maraa – Indians

*Copied from one of All India Bakchods sketches*

Here are some of the socially accepted usage of “That’s what she said”. *

*After a night a trash talking under the influence of many things including alcohol.

That’s big!

Response: That’s what she said!

It feels like jelly!

Response: That’s what she said!

Put the whole thing in your mouth!

Response: That’s what she said!

Where is it?

Response: That’s what she said!

It’s so smooth!

Response: That’s what she said!

Where’d the hair go?

Response: That’s what she said!

It’s not there!

Response: That’s what she said!

It’s so hard!

Response: That’s what she said!

It looked bigger on the package!

Response: That’s what she said!

It’s stuck!

Response: That’s what she said!

My throat hurts. Can’t swallow anything!

Response: That’s what she said!

Try putting it there!

Response: That’s what she said!

Press harder!

Response: That’s what she said!

It’s bigger than it looks!

Response: That’s what she said!

Dude, it’s the wrong hole!

Response: That’s what she said!

I’m not going to put that in my mouth!

Response: That’s what she said!

Yummm.. That tastes so goood!

Response: That’s what she said!

Dude, just put it back inside!

Response: That’s what she said!

Uuugggh! What’s that smell!

Response: That’s what she said!

Did you push it in all the way? 

Response: That’s what she said!

Alright, I’ll stop for now. My sides are still aching from last night!

That’s what she said! 😛

cool_story_bro_sienfield

That’s What She Said!

To end my whining about not having a girlfriend, my friends decided to set me up on  a blind date. You might think, how sweet of them. But the truth is that they had enough of my whining and were close to throwing me off DG’s terrace.

So meet my date, MM. Mid 20’s, marketing executive at a popular Bangalore based firm. The date was going well, except that I was bored as hell. The conversations just kept on revolving around the different parties she had been to and the number of times she had blacked out from excessive drinking.

MM: I was like blah blah, then you know, it was like blah blah blah and then I was like blah blah blah….

Me: Uh…huh… Go on…

MM: blah blah blah blah, it was so long and hard!

Me: Ha! That’s what she said!

MM: Sorry?

 Me: That’s what she said! Get it?

MM: Who’s this she?

Me: Ummm, nevermind.

MM: Wait! Are you like already dating someone? Or you like, you know trying to two time someone?

Me: Ummmm. No….

MM: Then who’s this ‘she’ you just referred to? 

Me: Are you seriously stupid or you just pretending to be one?

3005.jackie-chan-meme-why

It’s safe to assume that I never heard from her ever again.