Dude, Your Girlfriend Is Crazy!

My friend KP, manages to find the most bizarre women to date. It’s just that, the women he chooses are a complete mismatch for him. While KP is soft spoken, well mannered and caring (basically one of  those guys who enjoy watching Shahrukh Khan movies, loves shopping and gets a manicure / pedicure done every month), his girlfriends are total psychotic b*tches. I’ve always wondered where he picked up his women. Someone told me that he meets them at his monthly Marwadi conventions (not a real thing, but I guess you know what I’m trying to say) or they are ‘handed’ over to him by relatives who’d want them both to get married. Or something like that. I couldn’t be bothered too much. All of them are just pure entertainment for me.

PIB was the best of them all. She’s around 28, holds a a cushy corporate job, dresses like a 12 year old and is a complete control freak. I’ve lost the count of the number of times things have escalated between her and us with KP having to step in and diffuse the situation.

Location: KP’s house. KP, AS and BR are flatmates.

*We’re all seated around the hall and were drinking / chilling, et all*

*PIB walks in with KP*

PIB:  Hey everyone!

Everyone (AT, Me, AS and BR): Hey!

PIB: Guess what!? I’ve got the new iPhone! 

 Everyone (AT, Me, AS and BR): Awesome!

PIB: Here, take a look!

*She passes her phone around to everyone and then stops at AT)

PIB: I’m sorry AT, but you can’t touch my phone!

AT: Errrr, why not?

PIB: Because you’ve been eating chicken and I don’t want you touching my phone with those hands! (She’s a vegetarian)

AT: But everyone’s a non-vegetarian here!

PIB: Yeah, but they haven’t touched the chicken yet! And I don’t want your non-veg touched hands touching my phone!




Why You Hating, Bro?

*Watching the new DishTV HDTV ad during IPL, featuring Shahrukh Khan*

Shahrukh Khan: This is atrocious! This is fake! Blah…., blah….., blah….., blah….., blah….., blah….., blah….., blah….., blah….., blah….., blah…..,  blah!

Everything is clearer on HD. Whether it’s Bollywood or Hollywood!

MS: Including your wrinkles, you old hag!

Me: Why you hating bro?

MS: Because he’s a *****************************************************************************!

Me: Whoa! We’ve got a badass here!


Here’s the ad: