I used to think that I could strike up a conversation with a random stranger anywhere. Sadly, I’ve realized that I can do that only do that when I’m drunk.
Sucks, doesn’t it?
Scene: Lunchtime, at McDonalds.
I was sitting all alone and having lunch when this gorgeous lady joins me at my table. We ate our lunch in complete silence, looking everywhere except at each other. To be honest, I tried to make eye contact, smile and start a random conversation, but yeah, that plan failed miserably. So I resigned to my fate and ate my lunch in complete silence. Before leaving, I thought I should tell her that it was the most awkward lunch I’d ever had.
*I get up*
Me: Yeah, that was the most awkward lunch I’d ever had!
Me: I said, “this is the most awkward lunch I’d ever had”!
Lady: Who? Whaaaa?
Lady: Excuse me?
*Time to run*
*I was out of there before you could say egg-foo-yung*
Later that day.
Me: Ok Google.
Me: Note to self.
Phone: Go on..
Me: Never ever ever try to a make a conversation when sober!
Phone: Right back at ya!