Girls! Girls! Girls!

VT and I used to be thick as thieves. We’ve lost contact over the past few years, but while we were still in college, we’d used to have a blast gossiping.

One such occasion, our gossip session veered towards a common friend of ours, RJ – who’s a well known radio jockey with one of the more popular radio channels in Chennai.

VT: Man, have you heard?

Me: Heard what?

VT: RJ is the new radio jockey at blah blah FM.

Me: Yeah… I read that in the papers!

VT: Can’t believe that b*tch is now famous!

Me: Hahaha..Why?

VT: That flat-chested, tomboy female.

Me: Chill!

VT: You know, there’s an age when girls stop becoming tomboyish and start doing girly things like make up and stuff. But not her! She continued being a tomboy! She’s got no boobs!

Me: Hahahaha… My friend met her recently, he was telling me that she’s got a nice pair now.

VT: Lies! All lies! She’s probably stuffed her t-shirt with socks!

Me: Hahahaha! No way!

VT: Dude! I’ll know. All girls know it when it’s fake! She’s as flat as a flat screen tv!

Me: Dude…. You know, you too fall into that category… Just saying…

VT: Yeah so? I’m pretty, I dress well and I’m girly! So it’s fine!

Me: Hahahaha…. Totally!



Hell Hath No Fury Like A Woman Scorned

My friend, PGS sends me a text.

PGS: Hey! I read your blog post.

Me: Which one?

PGS: Why? Why? Why? 

Me: Liked it?

PGS: Well, who is this SP that you have mentioned?

Me: Someone. You don’t know her.

PGS: Are you sure that it’s not me? 

Me: Seesh, narcissistic much?

PGS: Go jump! It’s just you’re always going on about how I need to put make up and I started doing so recently. Hence…

Me: Relax. It’s not you.

PGS: Good. By the way, check out my new Facebook pic.

Me: Uh…huh..

PGS: What?

Me: Nothing.

PGS: Tell me!

Me: It’s nothing.

PGS: Dude, either you tell me right now or I come over to your place and strangle you!

Me: Fine. It’s the lipstick.

PGS: What about it?

Me: Nothing, just an observation.

PGS: Dude! Tell me right now! Is it too much? Or what?

Me: Just saying, you know…

PGS: What? What? What? Tell me! This conversation isn’t over!

Me: Seesh, what shade is that? Crack whore red?

 PGS: Dafaq! I’m gonna kill you! Just wait till I get my hands on you! I’m never ever gonna put make up henceforth! You wait and watch Mister!

Me: Hehehehe


Why? Why? Why?

I was on Facebook and noticed that my friend SP had uploaded a new profile pic. It looked like she had jumped into a pool of make up and forgot to wipe herself clean afterwards.

Me: What’s with the profile pic?

SP: Why? What’s wrong with it?

Me: Isn’t that too much make up?

SP: So you’re saying that I don’t look good?

Me: Generally you do. But in this case, it looks like you stumbled across your mummy’s make up kit and decided to run wild with it.

SP: You’re just jealous! 

Me: Pfft! Of what?

SP: Because you can’t put make up and look pretty like me!

Me: Good lord!