The Sexy Scam

While returning from Goa, I decided to take a bus back to Bangalore. While I was on, I was confused as to which bus to take, so I went with the Kadamba Transport Corporation Ltd (Goa state owned) bus. To catch that bus, I needed to reach Kadamba Bus Stand in Panjim.

I reached there about one hour in advance and while I was waiting on the platform, a fellow passenger struck up a conversation with me.

Him: So are you taking a bus from here?

Me: Yes, that’s why I’m here.

*He was reeking of what I think was alcohol*

Him: Ok.. These bus guys are complete cheats!

Me: Why?

Him: Yesterday, I came here with my ticket and when I reached my bus, they told me that my ticket is not valid. That’s unfair! My ticket cost me 45 bucks! Now I don’t have any money and I spent the night on the platform.

Me: Ok.

Him: It’s not like I’m asking people from money, I’ve a brother working in America.

Me: Ok.

Him: Now I don’t know how I’ll get back home!

Me: Uh.. Huh…

Him: I’m a painter. I paint buildings. I go where ever there is work. My brother from America got me a job here. Now the job is complete. I need to go to the next place.

Me: So you travel all the time?

Him: Yes, I go where ever there is work. 

Me: Where to next?

Him: Mumbai, but I don’t have any money to travel.

Me: Ok. 

HimI’m not asking people from money, I’ve a brother working in America.

Me: You mentioned that before. 

Him: After Mumbai, I need to go back home to Kerala. Lots of places to travel. But no money.

Me: So you’re from Kerala?

Him: Yes! (No trace of an Malayalee accent)

Me: Where in Kerala?

Him: Tljljdaaslh…… 

Me: Say what?

Him: Errrr…. That place where that has a big ‘Birla‘ factory.

Me: Uh…… Huh….. Which district?

Him: Errrrrr…. I…. Ummmm…. That place with the Birla factory. My shanty is next to the factory wall.

Me: Sure… Why not?

Him: Yes, my house is there. You can ask anyone about that factory.

Me: You want money for the ticket?

Him: Oh? Thank you! But it’s not like I want to take money from you, I’ve a brother in America.

Me: You do the brother story with everyone don’t you?

Him: Huh? Of course not! I’ve a brother there. I can show you his visiting card, but my belongings got stolen last month.

Me: You’re trying to scam me into giving you money, aren’t you?

Him: What? Me? Of course not!

Me: Buddy, walk the f*** away or else I’m calling that cop standing there!

*He ran away before you could say House MD*

Me: F***ing d***!



PS: The bus was sh*tty. They don’t provide neither a blanket (A/C Bus) nor a water bottle. And they stop at a really shady mess for dinner break.