Why You Hating, Bro?

*Watching the new DishTV HDTV ad during IPL, featuring Shahrukh Khan*

Shahrukh Khan: This is atrocious! This is fake! Blah…., blah….., blah….., blah….., blah….., blah….., blah….., blah….., blah….., blah….., blah…..,  blah!

Everything is clearer on HD. Whether it’s Bollywood or Hollywood!

MS: Including your wrinkles, you old hag!

Me: Why you hating bro?

MS: Because he’s a *****************************************************************************!

Me: Whoa! We’ve got a badass here!


Here’s the ad:

Sh*t People Say – 2

I’m back, with a vengeance.

Every year, the months of April and May takes it’s toll on the people of India. It’s super hot due to the summer, frequent power cuts and not to mention, the Indian Premier League. It’s that time of the year, where all your friends (in fact, any cricket fan) lose their sanity and the inter team rivalry begins. Heated debates occur on whose team is better to whether the matches are fixed or not. It’s good fun in all, but there are those moments where you’d want to kill yourself.

My friend, Dik calls me up on the eve of IPL 2012 finals, Chennai Super Kings (CSK) Vs Kolkata Knight Riders (KKR). I support CSK because I love the team and I adore MS Dhoni, my favorite cricketer. As per my ethnicity, I should be supporting KKR (Dik’s logic).

Dik: You are a disgrace to all Bengalis!

Me: Huh, what?

Dik: You are a traitor! 

Me: You’ve lost me completely 

Dik: How could you support CSK, you traitor! 

Me: Errr, because I love that team! 

Dik: If you were in Kolkata now, people would have lynched you by now, for supporting some other team. 

Me: Uh huh… Sure.

Dik: Don’t you feel ashamed for supporting those ************************************************************** (racial slurs, which I’m not going to mention here).

Me: Dude, that’s uncalled for. 1) I can support whichever team I want to! 2) The last time checked, KKR was neither owned by a Bengali nor there were any Bengali players in the playing XI. So, I don’t get your logic of misplaced loyalty. 

Dik: Your CSK is full of cheaters! Your team matches are fixed!

Me: People take money to throw away their matches, not to win them. Since my team won the league match against your team, it would indicate that YOUR team took the money to lose! 

Dik: It doesn’t matter, you’re a traitor and you should be ashamed of yourself!

Me: And this might sound like me hanging up the phone, but…

*I cut the call*

Me: Jesus – F***ing – Christ. How are these people even alive?!


On a lighter note, this is what happens during IPL.