Being Circumcised!

Earlier this year, I was in my beard growing phase. Well, I had decided that I will keep changing my beard style every two months. This was during those two months.

Anyhow, I was at my usual Bong family get-together. Bong as in Bengali, not the one you smoke with.

Some of mom’s friends complimented me on the beard but of them a major issue with my beard.

She: What is that thing growing on your face?

Me: You mean my manly beard?

She: No, that pubic hair on your face!

Me: Ouch! Is that yours look like?


She: Oh, you think you’re very smart, don’t you?

Me: Maybe?

She: Fine. Whatever!

Me: Yeah. Whatever.

She: You look like a Muslim cleric.

Me: Eh?

She: Yeah, grow beards as long as yours!

Me: No, they don’t. And I have a moustache! They don’t! 

She: Almost same no!

Me: So?

She: Fine, there is one more difference.

Me: What?

She: Your d*ck isn’t circumcised!

Me: What? Fine.


She got me there. What a burn. I shall have my revenge!

This is what I looked like:

This is my “I work in an ad agency” look. #bored #monday #office #beard #beardo #bangalore #selfie #glasses

A photo posted by The Kolesmeister (@kolesmeister) on

The year so far:


Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Is, Bob!

One fine day.

CG: Yo! 

Me: What?

CG: Are you on Klout

Me: What’s that?

CG: It’s this website that measures how influential you are on social media.

Me: Go on…

CG: So its takes information from various social media platforms you’re active on, such as Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, etc, then sees how often you post and how many people read / like / share your posts and thus giving you a score. The score is out of hundred and you can compare yourself to various people on your network. 

Me: Sounds interesting. Are you on it? 

CG: Yup. I gotta score of 56.

Me: Is that good? 

CG: Yeah man, it takes real hard work to reach here. This thing is really accurate. Why don’t you connect your social media platforms to this as well? 

Me: Ok sure.

*I login and do whatever is required*

CG: So you’re all set, and voila! Your score is 28. 

Me: That’s bad right? 

CG: No worries man. You’ve just joined, it takes about a week to give you an accurate score. 

Me: Ok

CG: So let’s compare scores after a week. 

*After one week*

CG: Hey man, what’s your Klout score? 

Me: No idea. Let me check. It’s at 60. What’s yours? 

CG: Huh? Mines 54. How’d the hell did you get a score of 60?

Me: I dunno. Maybe the site has finished analyzing all the data. Besides, the calculation is really accurate right?

CG: Dafaq is this sh*t! How dafaq do you have a higher score than me???

Me: Sh*t happens bro!

CG: This is bogus man! I think there’s something wrong with the calculations. No way one site can determine how influential you are! 

Me: Suck it up, Bob*! 


*Calling people Bob, is the new in thing in Bangalore. No more dude, man, maccha, maga. Just Bob.