Got Sanitizer?

Till about 8-9 years ago, I had no idea what a sanitizer was. I just assumed that it was a women’s hygiene product. You know, because of the word sanitary in it.

On numerous occasions, My Gf (back then) mentioned the word sanitizer and of course it didn’t make any sense to me. But then again, I was too embarrassed to ask her about it.

Scene #1

Her:  Instead of carrying napkins, I carry a sanitizer. It’s so much easy to carry.

Me: Ummmm… Ok….


Scene #2

Her: Sometimes I like playing with my sanitizer.

Me: Errrrr…. Why?

Her: Because it smells really nice…

Me: Ummmmm… Ok…


Scene #3

Me: Man, I forgot to get a handkerchief! Now I have to wipe my hands on my jeans!

Her: Don’t do that!

Me: Do you have wet wipes?

Her: No but I have a sanitizer.

Me: And what’s it supposed to do?

Her: Here!

*Pulls out a little bottle and squirts some clear gel like thing on to my palms*

Me: Errrrr….

Her: Now rub your palms together!

Me: Wow… My hands… are clean!

Her: See! Carrying a sanitizer at all times helps!

Me: So that’s what a sanitizer is!

Her: Huh? What did you think it was?

Me: Something like a sanitary pad?

Her: #Facepalm



Yes, that really happened!


The Toothbrush Extrapolation

MS and I were tallying up monthly common expenses.

Me: Hey, can you give me a pen. There’s one in my bag, front pocket.

MS: Got it. Oh, by the way, you have a toothbrush in your bag as well. 

Me: Yeah, so?

MS: Why do you have a toothbrush in your bag?

Me: Well, I stay out often. So when I wake up at someone’s else’s place in the morning, I want to be able to brush my teeth. I hate it when I have to go long periods without brushing my teeth.

MS: Dude! When you don’t brush your in the morning after spending a night at someone else’s place, that gives you the true feeling of staying out!

Me: Eh?

MS: If you brush your teeth in the morning, it’s just like any other day. It’s no different. BUT, when you don’t brush your teeth, you get to enjoy the freedom of staying out!

Me: Seriously?

MS: Yes, dude. I once spent the whole weekend at my friends place and I didn’t brush my teeth even once. BEST FEELING EVER!

Me: Dude! Dafaq is wrong with you?!