While returning from Goa, I decided to take a bus back to Bangalore. While I was on Redbus.in, I was confused as to which bus to take, so I went with the Kadamba Transport Corporation Ltd (Goa state owned) bus. To catch that bus, I needed to reach Kadamba Bus Stand in Panjim.
I reached there about one hour in advance and while I was waiting on the platform, a fellow passenger struck up a conversation with me.
Him: So are you taking a bus from here?
Me: Yes, that’s why I’m here.
*He was reeking of what I think was alcohol*
Him: Ok.. These bus guys are complete cheats!
Him: Yesterday, I came here with my ticket and when I reached my bus, they told me that my ticket is not valid. That’s unfair! My ticket cost me 45 bucks! Now I don’t have any money and I spent the night on the platform.
Him: It’s not like I’m asking people from money, I’ve a brother working in America.
Him: Now I don’t know how I’ll get back home!
Me: Uh.. Huh…
Him: I’m a painter. I paint buildings. I go where ever there is work. My brother from America got me a job here. Now the job is complete. I need to go to the next place.
Me: So you travel all the time?
Him: Yes, I go where ever there is work.
Me: Where to next?
Him: Mumbai, but I don’t have any money to travel.
Him: I’m not asking people from money, I’ve a brother working in America.
Me: You mentioned that before.
Him: After Mumbai, I need to go back home to Kerala. Lots of places to travel. But no money.
Me: So you’re from Kerala?
Him: Yes! (No trace of an Malayalee accent)
Me: Where in Kerala?
Me: Say what?
Him: Errrr…. That place where that has a big ‘Birla‘ factory.
Me: Uh…… Huh….. Which district?
Him: Errrrrr…. I…. Ummmm…. That place with the Birla factory. My shanty is next to the factory wall.
Me: Sure… Why not?
Him: Yes, my house is there. You can ask anyone about that factory.
Me: You want money for the ticket?
Him: Oh? Thank you! But it’s not like I want to take money from you, I’ve a brother in America.
Me: You do the brother story with everyone don’t you?
Him: Huh? Of course not! I’ve a brother there. I can show you his visiting card, but my belongings got stolen last month.
Me: You’re trying to scam me into giving you money, aren’t you?
Him: What? Me? Of course not!
Me: Buddy, walk the f*** away or else I’m calling that cop standing there!
*He ran away before you could say House MD*
Me: F***ing d***!
PS: The bus was sh*tty. They don’t provide neither a blanket (A/C Bus) nor a water bottle. And they stop at a really shady mess for dinner break.