This is a compilation, since these are all one liners.


Scene #1: Talking to a new colleague

Me: Hey! Found your way to the office fine?

Him: Yeah! It’s very easy. I saw the route on Google Maps.

Me: Oh cool.

Him: I didn’t know that Bangalore is like America!

Me: Huh..? What?

Him: Yeah, see it’s all blocks and crosses! 1st Block..2nd Block…1st Cross..2nd Cross..  Just like in America!

Me: Errrrr….Sure…




Scene #2: I’m at a mobile shop

Me: Hey! Do you have a screen guard for the Nexus 4?

Shop Guy: Which model is this?

Me: Errrr… Nexus 4.

Shop Guy: Huh? Show me the phone!

Me: Here.

*I give him my phone*

*He fiddles around it for 5 mins! I swear he was looking for porn*

Shop Guy: Oh.. This model is Nexus 4.

Me: No sh*t!




Scene #3: Me asking my crush out

Me: Hey…. I was wondering, if you wanna go out with me..?

Girl: Yeah! Sure! Where?

Me: Errrrr…. Nevermind!



Pffft! Technology, My A$$!

I’m showing off my brand new Google Nexus 4 to CG.

Me: This phone is superfast, blah blah…. Quad-core processor, blah blah…

CG: Cool!

Me: Blah blah… Jelly Bean 4.2.2.. Blah blah blah, HDR camera… Blah blah…

CG: Sounds awesome! 

Me: It’s got this new feature called Google Now. It’s this predictive service which provides you information, without you searching for it. For example, it’ll figure out that you’re not at home, and automatically send you directions to get back home.  

CG: Whoa nice…

Me: Also, lets say it’s raining, it’ll automatically notify you. This is so cool!

CG: Yeah man!

Me: Only problem is that, it selected my location as Yelahanka. The the weather prediction is based on that area. (I live almost 20 kms from Yelahanka). 

CG: Big deal! It’s pretty accurate, nevertheless.

Me: Yeah, but I wish it would provide the data for my current location. 

*From the other corner of the house*

MS: Stop whining, you fags! Even my phone shows Yelahanka. So buck up!

Me: Errrr…..