Love Hurts…No..Love Bites!

About two years back, I had gone to Gokarna with my (now ex) girlfriend and her best friend. Since it was only the three of us, we decided to share a room. Before any of you can go *bow-chicka-bow-wow*, let me clarify – Nothing happened.

Anyways, on the journey back, the seats on our bus were riddled with bed bugs and by the time we got back to Bangalore, all our exposed areas ( mostly arms and back) were covered with nasty bed bug bites.

I wore a half sleeve shirt to my office that day.

*My colleague, JD walks upto me*

JD: So dude, I heard that you went to Gokarna with two hotties! Is that true?

Me: Yeah. That’s true!

JD: That’s sexy dude! So f***ing sexy! 

Me: Hahaha… Relax…..

JD: So did you get any? Let me guess, you had a threesome! Right?

Me: No man…. Nothing happened.

JD: Did you share a bed?

Me: Yeah, the bed was big.

JD: Man, I knew it! You player!!

Me: Dude! Believe me! Nothing happened!

*He looks at my bed bug bites*

JD: Oh..My..God! Look at those hickeys! 

Me: Huh? What?

JD: How do you explain those hickeys!

Me: Dude! These are bug bites man! Bed bugs! The bus was full of them!

JD: No way man! No way! 

Me: Oh lord! Why is it so hard for you to believe that nothing happened? 

JD: You went to Gokarna with two hotties, you shared a bed with two hotties and you come back with hickeys to prove that you got some action. Man, you’re a poon hound man!

Me: Dude! These are not hickeys! These are bug bites!

JD: I wasn’t born yesterday, you know… I know a hickey when I see one.

Me: Well, these are hickeys, why would they be on my arms? My frigging arms! It would be on my neck or something!

JD: I dunno… Maybe those hotties had some crazy fetish?

Me: Well, no. And if you think these are hickeys, I have no idea to which whore house you’ve been to, because these are not HICKEYS!

JD: Hahaha… Nice try, you stud! 😉

 

oh-god-why-meme

PS: Nothing happened!

 

The Mystery Of The Missing Charger

NM, JK and I were on our way to Gokarna.

*JK looks at my bag*

JK: Dude! Whoa! Why do have two bags man?

Me: The duffel bag has all my clothes and the backpack has my camera, whiskey, swiss knife, flashlight, laser pointer….

JK: Dafaq man! You’re going all commando huh?

 Me: Errrrr, you know ‘going commando‘ means something else right?

JK: Hahaha! Really?

Me: Look it up later.

JK:  Alright But still, your bag is too heavy. 

Me: Yeah I know. I like to play it safe, hence I overpack. (During the trip, I would use only 3 T’s and two shorts. I packed nearly double of that).

*One hour into the journey, JK notices that were mobile charging points next to every seat*

JK: Yo, NM! Pass me your charger.

NM: I didn’t bring mine.

JK: Hahaha…! Me too! I thought I’ll whore yours! 

NM: Bad luck! I thought the same.

JK: So you made an assumption and that went wrong. The moral of the story is; Don’t make assumptions. 

NM: No actually. I was right to assume. It just backfired because you thought the same. 

JK: But your assumption to depend on me was flawed to begin with. Because I usually use your stuff! 

NM: It’s not me who’s flawed! Your assumption that you can always whore off me, that is flawed!

Me: DAFAQ ARE YOU BOTH TALKING ABOUT? 

JK: Just proving a point mate! 

Me: Jeeez! Stop talking! Here! Use my charger! 

JK: Awesome, Your lady bag finally came handy! 

Me: Just be grateful………………………………..Douche!

im_watching_you

PS: Here are some pics I took at Gokarna.

 

The First View Of The Sea

The First View Of The Sea

The View From Namaste Cafe

The View From Namaste Cafe

The Sea Could Bitchslap You If It Wanted To!

The Sea Could Bitchslap You If It Wanted To!

The Idle Evening Sets In

The Idle Evening Sets In

One Love Is All You Need!

One Love Is All You Need!

Sunday Morning Glory

Sunday Morning Glory

This Chicken Jumped Onto Our Table And Gobbled Up An Omelette! Please Don't Tell PETA!

This Chicken Jumped Onto Our Table And Gobbled Up An Omelette! Please Don’t Tell PETA!

Saying Goodbye Was The Hardest Thing To Do!

Saying Goodbye Was The Hardest Thing To Do

I Got Them Highway Blues!

I Got Them Highway Blues!