Girlfriends Be Crazy!

All of us were out for lunch. The conversation veered towards monthly expenses.

AM: Man, I’m already broke!

Me: Really?

AM: Yeah, man!

Me: It’s not even half the month!

AM: I have no idea where the money went!

Me: Splurging on parties, I guess?

AM: Probably!

LK: You people! Look at you!

AM: What are you gloating about?

*LK is a god fearing small town boy who doesn’t drink, smoke or whatever*

LK: I’ve spent only 5K from my salary!

Me: What are your expenses actually?

LK: Rent, Food and watching movies.

AM: How much do you save per month?

LK: About 50% of my salary!

AM: WTF?!!

LK: I don’t drink, or party or smoke. I don’t go out to drink like you people. I don’t do drugs, I don’t go to fancy lunches and brunches!

AM: Jeez!

LK: Plus I don’t even a girlfriend! So much money I save there! You have girlfriend! How much money you are probably spending on her! Imagine!

AM: Errrrr.. Yes, let’s go with that… I spend all my money on her!

Me: Hahahahaha!

LK: What’s so funny?

Me: Nothing, come let’s ourselves some beer before we head to office!

AM: Awwright!

LK: Not me! Thank you!

#BuzzKill

*To honest, it was a Friday*

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The Hills Have Eyes…And Ears!

Le GF went to Mumbai for the long weekend.

*Le GF has the habit of checking in everywhere*

Later that day.

*Talking to MS*

MS: Yo wassup?

Me: Nothing much!

MS: What plans for the evening?

Me: I’m going to head home and crash early.

MS: Why don’t you come over?

Me: No man, didn’t get much sleep last night…

MS: Anyways your girlfriend isn’t in town, might as well come over!

Me: Eh? 

*Talking to a colleague*

Colleague: Leaving early?

Me: Yeah man, want to sleep early tonight.

Colleague: Your girlfriend’s not in town, that’s why? 

Me: Jeez.. What is up with everyone? 

*Talking to a friend*

Friend: Duuuuude!

Me: Yeah?

Friend: Let’s have a boys night out this weekend!

Me: Sure thing!

Friend: Girlfriend being out of town has it’s advantage! 

Me: What…? How the hell does everyone know?

Friend: 😀

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Le Girlfriend Strikes Back!

I received a mail from Le Gf.

 

Sheher Mein ek kaali raat ko…
Amavasya ke samai…
Ghor kalyug ke beechon beech…
Ek ladka, ek ladki ko bolta hai..
 
Boyfriend : Baby I’m drunk B-)
Girlfriend ( chance pe dance ) : Say something mushy no! <3
Boyfriend (drool) : Have you eaten at Lazeez?
Girlfriend : Jeez, Bangali ko haan bolne se pehle sochna chahiye tha!
True Story.

Me: Lol! What dude?

Le Gf: Story of my life maccha!

Me: #facepalm

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Dude, Your Girlfriend Is Crazy!

My friend KP, manages to find the most bizarre women to date. It’s just that, the women he chooses are a complete mismatch for him. While KP is soft spoken, well mannered and caring (basically one of  those guys who enjoy watching Shahrukh Khan movies, loves shopping and gets a manicure / pedicure done every month), his girlfriends are total psychotic b*tches. I’ve always wondered where he picked up his women. Someone told me that he meets them at his monthly Marwadi conventions (not a real thing, but I guess you know what I’m trying to say) or they are ‘handed’ over to him by relatives who’d want them both to get married. Or something like that. I couldn’t be bothered too much. All of them are just pure entertainment for me.

PIB was the best of them all. She’s around 28, holds a a cushy corporate job, dresses like a 12 year old and is a complete control freak. I’ve lost the count of the number of times things have escalated between her and us with KP having to step in and diffuse the situation.

Location: KP’s house. KP, AS and BR are flatmates.

*We’re all seated around the hall and were drinking / chilling, et all*

*PIB walks in with KP*

PIB:  Hey everyone!

Everyone (AT, Me, AS and BR): Hey!

PIB: Guess what!? I’ve got the new iPhone! 

 Everyone (AT, Me, AS and BR): Awesome!

PIB: Here, take a look!

*She passes her phone around to everyone and then stops at AT)

PIB: I’m sorry AT, but you can’t touch my phone!

AT: Errrr, why not?

PIB: Because you’ve been eating chicken and I don’t want you touching my phone with those hands! (She’s a vegetarian)

AT: But everyone’s a non-vegetarian here!

PIB: Yeah, but they haven’t touched the chicken yet! And I don’t want your non-veg touched hands touching my phone!

*AWKWARD SILENCE*

 

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