Need For Speed!

After I had published Multitasking, Like A Baws, I got quite a few mails from my readers who were reminiscing about their college days, when they would go lengths to hide their porn. So I’d thought I’ll share this anecdote with you all about LKB and his porn collection.

*I walk into LKB’s room*

Me: Hey man!

LKB: Hey!

Me: Do you have any computer games? 

LKB: Yeah man, check my cupboard. There’s a Cd pouch with all my Cd’s in it. You’ll find the games Cd’s there as well. 

*LKB directs me towards his cupboard. I find one pouch where all the Cd’s were titled ‘NFS’*

Me: Whoa, didn’t realize that you were a big fan of Need For Speed. You’ve got many versions. 

LKB: Hahaha. No man. They are all porn movies. 

Me: Huh? Then why would you name all of them as NFS?

LKB: In case my mom found some of my Cd’s by mistake, I could always tell her that it’s a computer game. She knows about NFS.

Me: Hmmmmm, ok. What if she asks why do you have so many NFS Cd’s?

LKB: Duh! I’ll tell her that there are many versions of this game. 

Me: Hmmmm, ok. What if you mistake your porn Cd for the actual game and give it someone else? 

LKB: That’ll never happen. I’ve named the Cd’s NFS for a reason.

Me: What’s that?

LKB: NFS – Need For Sex! 

Me: Hahaha! Good one! 

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Oops, You Did It Again…. And Again!

Like most men, LKB loved checking out women. Unlike most men, he felt the need to comment loudly and get everyone around him to participate as well. As you can imagine, in most cases that didn’t go well for LKB.

Scenario #1

*LKB, AJ and I were sitting in the college cafeteria. CJ, a voluptuous buxom babe, passes by our table*

LKB: Man, look at that a**!

AJ: Ummmm…

LKB: Don’t you love an a** like that?

AJ: Errrr…

LKB: Man, the things I’d to that a**! Oh yeah, I would smack it and watch it wobble and smack it some more!

*At this point LKB starts smacking an imaginary butt while signing Akon‘s Smack That*

AJ: Dude! Stop that!

LKB: C’mon! An a** that fine, you gotta smack it. I mean, you must be like super gay, not to smack that a**!

AJ: You do realize that CJ is my sister? 

LKB: Errrrr…. Ummmm….

AJ: F^&*ing C&*#! 

Me: Hahahaha….! LKB does it again! 

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Scenario #2

*LKB, BK and I were at the bus stop, waiting for the college bus*

LKB: See that new chick at our stop? She’s ugly man!

Me: Uh..huh..

LKB: She’s so ugly, even Quasimodo wouldn’t date her! 

Me: Hahaha…

LKB: She’s so ugly that the only way she’ll get laid, is that she’s with a blind guy! 

Me: Good lord!

LKB: She’s so ugly, she can go to a Halloween party without a costume!

Me: Hahahaha…

*BK smacks LKB on the back of his head*

BK: That’s my sister, you dumb f%^&!

Me: Hahahahaha….

LKB: You knew it all along, didn’t you?

Me: Yup!

LKB: Why didn’t you tell me anything?

Me: I wanted to see you get smacked on the back of your head! 😀

LKB: F@#$ Off!

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 Scenario #3

*LKB, RK and I were at the beach*

LKB: See that bike parked there?

Me: Yeah?

LKB: That’s a sh*tty bike!

Me: Uh..huh..

LKB: My winged rider is waaaaay better than that piece of crap!

Me: Uh…huh..

LKB: That bike is so crap, that it makes an auto rickshaw look like an Harley Davidson!

Me: Too much!

RK: Knock it off! That’s my bike!

LKB: I know! 😛 

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Is Chivalry Dead…???

Here’s an old post that I wrote back in college. Back then, my blogs were more angst-ridden and anti-establishment (You get the drift). Though I used to whine back then too, it wasn’t funny.

Anyways, for your reading pleasure, I give you:

Is Chivalry Dead…??? (Original Publishing Date: October 30, 2007)

Imagine this scenario:  A man walks out of a building. As he goes out of the main door, he doesn’t notice the lady following him and slams the door on her face. The lady (poor lady) shakes her head and mutters to herself, ‘Chivalry Is Dead!!!’ Well, I beg to differ! I strongly believe that chivalry is alive and kicking!!
It’s just that since you ladies are so into that pro-feminism thing, we don’t know if you would cherish such small acts of courtesy.
My theories are:
1) Some son-of-a-bitch gave you ladies a hard time and tarnished the image of all men, thus proving to you all that chivalry is dead. (You actually believed it!!!)
2)You’re with the wrong guy! (Dump him fast!!!!)
3) Wrong place, wrong time (Hehe… Your fault!!!)
Now imagine this. A man walking out of a building, holds the door open for a lady following him. She stops and looks at him, probably shocked.
These thoughts are probably running through her head:
1) Wtf?????
2)What does he want???
3)Why the act of courtesy???
4)He’s trying to make a move on me..!! Perv!!!
5)Did he think that I needed help with that door..??? No thank you!!!
And meanwhile in the guys head: ‘Oh my god… This seems  like a bad idea, maybe I should have just walked out.!So see you ladies, chivalry still exists! Just give us guys a chance and PLEASE DO AWAY WITH THE ATTITUDE. IT SUCKS. WE AIN’T THAT JOBLESS TO HIT ON YOU ALL THE TIME. WE’RE JUST BEING CHIVALROUS. Hehehe……loggin off….!
Ciao

PS: I apologize for the insane no. of ‘????’, ‘!!!!!’ and ‘hehehehe’. Back then I used to think that it was pretty ‘cool’. Looking back at that blog now, I can see why it wasn’t as popular as I’d thought it would be.