This a new section where I spill beans on some of the worst crap I’ve heard people say. (PS: I’m severely allergic to bullsh*t).
My friend RAC is stupid, vain, shallow, sexist, racist and at times misogynistic. In fact, the only reason I’m friends with him is because our fathers went to college together or something. I was catching up with him after ages. His stupidity never ceases to amuse me.
Me: Hey! How you been?
RAC: Been good. You?
Me: Me too. How’s work?
RAC: Work is good. Very hectic though but I’m working my way up the corporate ladder.
Me: Great! Say, how’s that girlfriend of yours? Been dating for a while right? Five years odd?
RAC: We broke up man. Last month actually.
Me: Oh, what happened?
RAC: That b**** cheated on me. We were in a long distance relationship and that w**** was cheating on me with someone else!
Me: That’s bad. How you holding up? I thought you both were going very steady?
RAC: I thought too, but that b**** screwed it all up.
RAC: You know, I’ve gifted her many things. Expensive things.
Me: Yeah, I’ve heard.
RAC: That b**** now knows what she’ll miss man. She knows that she’ll never find someone as rich as me to take of her.
Me: Errrrrrr, ok…
RAC: I’ve given her designer stuff from my office trips abroad. Gucci, Armani, Channel, Kenzo… She’s gonna miss them all!
Me: I suppose so….
RAC: Don’t you worry! I’ve f***** her as well.
Me: Errrr, ok… Too much information here.
RAC: What did you think, that’ll gift her all this stuff and not to get use my tool! Please, been there done that!
Me: I can see what a tool you are.. (muttering).
RAC: Yeah, no one messes with me!
Me: Oh lord! Save us all!