Let Your Elbows Do The Talking!

Lady boss and I were discussing about stretching. She turned out to be more flexible than me, since she does yoga.

Me: Fine! I give up! You’re more flexible than me!

Lady Boss: Woohoo!

Me: But….

Lady Boss: What?

Me: Can you lick your elbows?

Lady Boss: What?

Me: Can you lick your elbows?

Lady Boss: I dunno… Lemme try….

*Tries licking her elbows*

*Me and WB are ROLF-ing*

WB: I can’t believe you fell for that… No one can lick their elbows!

Lady Boss: What? What cheap antics!

Me: That’s nothing, you should walk upto busty women in bars and ask them if they could touch elbows behind their backs!

Lady Boss: Wow… Really? So cheap!

Me: People fall for it all the time!

Lady Boss: No way! Women aren’t that dumb. They know when they are being taken for a ride!

Me: They fall for it, ALL THE TIME! Here, I’ll show you!

*Call out to a female colleague*

Chick #1: Yeah?

Me: Can you make your elbows touch behind your back?

Chick #1: Let me try!

*She goes on for about two – three minutes*

Lady Boss: Oh god! What are you doing?

Chick #1: Trying to make my elbows touch each other behind my back!

Lady Boss: These guys are doing it so that they can see your boobs!

Chick #1: Huh? What? Damn!

*Me and WB are ROLF-ing even more*

Me: See, I told you, chicks fall for it.

Lady Boss: That was a fluke!

Me: Fine… I’ll prove it!

*Call out another female colleague from a different room*

Chick #2: What?

Me: Can you make your elbows touch behind your back?

Chick #2: Let me try!

*She does the same thing*

Chick #2: Oh wait! You guys are so cheap! I know what you’re trying to do!

*Even more ROLF-ing*

Chick #1: Atleast you figured it out! I entertained them for about five minutes without even realizing!

Lady Boss: Fine! You guys made your point! Cheapskates!

Me: Woohoo!


Girls! Girls! Girls!

VT and I used to be thick as thieves. We’ve lost contact over the past few years, but while we were still in college, we’d used to have a blast gossiping.

One such occasion, our gossip session veered towards a common friend of ours, RJ – who’s a well known radio jockey with one of the more popular radio channels in Chennai.

VT: Man, have you heard?

Me: Heard what?

VT: RJ is the new radio jockey at blah blah FM.

Me: Yeah… I read that in the papers!

VT: Can’t believe that b*tch is now famous!

Me: Hahaha..Why?

VT: That flat-chested, tomboy female.

Me: Chill!

VT: You know, there’s an age when girls stop becoming tomboyish and start doing girly things like make up and stuff. But not her! She continued being a tomboy! She’s got no boobs!

Me: Hahahaha… My friend met her recently, he was telling me that she’s got a nice pair now.

VT: Lies! All lies! She’s probably stuffed her t-shirt with socks!

Me: Hahahaha! No way!

VT: Dude! I’ll know. All girls know it when it’s fake! She’s as flat as a flat screen tv!

Me: Dude…. You know, you too fall into that category… Just saying…

VT: Yeah so? I’m pretty, I dress well and I’m girly! So it’s fine!

Me: Hahahaha…. Totally!



Dude, You Need Help

*I walked into into LKB’s room without knocking*

Me: Whoa! Dude! If you’re watching porn, please bolt your door!

LKB: It’s not porn. 

Me: Ummmm, yeah it is. Naked pictures of women was classified as porn, the last time I checked. 

LKB: No. These are nude pictures. Artistically taken.

Me: Uh..huh… Sure.. Wait, is that Emma Watson? The kid from Harry Potter? Dude, c’mon – She’s just a kid! 

LKB: Hello! She’s 22! That’s just two years younger than me!

Me: But still, this is wrong. Just plain wrong.

*LKB is busy scrolling through the pictures*

LKB: Damn, she’s nude but they don’t show her boobs anywhere! Lots of cleavage but no boobs!

Me: Ok… So?

LKB: So nothing! This was a waste of my time! I rather check back in a couple of years once she’s got a boob job.

Me: Errrr, you need help. Like professional help. ASAP!