Down The Mammary Lane…

DB’s got a habit of addressing me as “My Man” and “My Main Man”. The new kid in the office, MMC hadn’t quite gotten used to that.

DB: My man!

Me: Yo!

DB: My main man!

Me: Oh yeah!

*High five*

MMC: What did you say?

DB: My main man!

MMC: What?

DB: My main man!

MMC: My mamme?

DB: Hahaha! 

Me: What the….. 

MMC: What? You guys are the ones screaming out mamme!

DB: Hahahahaha!

*If didn’t get the joke, look up mamme 😉 *

reaction-lauging-lold

 

Come Hither…

After a long day of work at the office.

Me: Man, I’m so sleepy. All I want to do crawl into my bed!

MM: Me too! 

Everyone: Haha!

MM: No, no! I meant my bed! 

Me: Sure thing… 😉

MM: No really! I want to crawl into bed, all by myself! Ok?

Everyone: Hahahah!

MM: Aargh!!!!

Me: Hey…

MM: WHAT?!

Me: Anytime you want ok? Anytime… 😉

MM: Chu….

scott-pilgrim-wink

Are You A Belieber?

I was at Stones and I thought I saw my friend TK there. Since I wasn’t sure, so I texted her. Later I figured out that it wasn’t her.

TK replied the next day.

TK: Hey!

Me: Wassup?

TK: Sorry, didn’t reply last night.

Me: It’s ok…

TK: I wasn’t sure if that text was for me.

Me: That’s fine. There was a chick there who looked just like you, but later I figured out that it wasn’t you!

TK: Hahaha! Really? How’d you figure out that?

Me: Well, for starters her boyfriend looked like Justin Beiber. You know, long hair with bangs and an emo hairstyle.

TK: Yikes!

Me: I know what your boyfriend looks like…

TK: Hmmmmm…

Me: Also, she did her tongue down his throat during most of the evening. So, I was pretty sure that wasn’t you!

TK: Hey! Too much info! Besides, how’d you know that I don’t have my tongue down his throat?

Me: Well, you aren’t into Justin Bieber!

TK: Good save…

Me: Totally! 😉

scott-pilgrim-wink

Gone Girl!

Le Gf and I were discussing about the latest dressing trend in Bangalore.

Me: Is it just me or most young women in Bangalore are beginning to dress the same?

Le Gf: Go on…

Me: Hear me out. All of them wear black jeggings, leggings or whatever they are called. They pair that up with a cropped top, long hair that’s parted sideways and bright shade of red lipstick, say Ruby Woo by MAC.

Le Gf: Yeah….

Me: I wonder where do get people get away with calling themselves individualistic and yet manage to be part of the herd…

Le Gf: Imagine if your girl got kidnapped and you went to cops to report it?

Me: Why?

Le Gf: So you would have to describe her right?

Me: Yeah….

Le Gf: So…. She was wearing black leggings, blue cropped top, long hair parted sideways, red lipstick!

Me: Hahahaha!

Le Gf: Cops are gonna be like “Bro… You just described all the girls in the city!”

Me: Yeah… Poor souls…

 

eveil-laugh-gif

This post has been issued in public interested. Please dress differently. Just saying. I don’t want upload pics to prove a point!

She’s With Me, Bro!

I’m going to try and write fluff. You know, flowery language and stuff..

So……

It was New Years’ Eve and everyone was scrambling about to figure out their evening scenes. After much deliberation, JK, his girlfriend JS, Paaji, his wife NS, Le Gf and I zeroed in on the party at Counter Culture. Dualist  Inquiry was headlining and The F-16’s were the opening act. Yup, the night was set. The place was decked up in all it’s grandeur and crowd was swanky. Add to that, it was an all-you-eat buffet and all-you-can drink booze.

Moving forward….

As the clock struck 12 midnight, the whole place erupted into an euphoric daze. The bartender poured 90 ml – patiala shots for everyone and party got even wilder. Everyone greeted everyone, couples were united and single people scoped out their bed-mates for the night. While JK had to excuse himself to go to the loo, JS was hanging around the bar. The keyboardist of The F-16’s walked upto her. He was tall, slim and handsome. Just like in the books. Add to that, he had an afro. Beat that. Now, JS was no less of a hottie either. She was the type of woman, who would get your girlfriend jealous just by her mere presence. And the guys, they don’t even stand a chance. Reference movie – She’s Out Of Your League. Comprende?

He was getting acquainted with JS with the usual, “Hi, what’s your name…. Whom are you with?… What are you doing by the bar all by yourself?” and the so on. Soon he felt a tap on his shoulder. Assuming that it was probably another fan wanting to wish him New Year, he turned around with a smug on his face, only to find himself face to face with a 6ft tall JK. Now, JK is a Sardar and a very well built one. He’s the type whom you’d call while going on a rampage spree.

Now, what happened next will. Blow. Your. Mind!

Not really.

Pretty Boy: Yeah?

JK: What do you think you are doing?

Pretty Boy: I’m just talking to her, man….

JK: Yeah?

Pretty Boy: Yeah man!

JK: She’s with me!

Pretty Boy: Oh really?

JK: Yup!

Pretty Boy: I had no idea!

JK: Well, now you do!

Pretty Boy: Oh… Yeah sure… Well… Can you point me towards some pretty ladies?

JK: Anywhere but here, bro….

Pretty Boy: Errrrr… Absolutely!

*Runs off*

 

*JS bursts out laughing*

And  ladies and gentlemen, this how you get KLPD’ed.

#JustSaying

Ashton-kutcher-laughing-top-10-vine-videos

Et Tu, Brute?

Le Gf, JK, his gf – JS and I were headed out for the evening. Double date sorta thing.

While coming towards the car, JK and JS seemed to fighting about something.

*As they entered the car*

JS: I don’t like the smell ok?

JK: Then you don’t have any taste in life!

JS: Look… It just doesn’t smell good ok?

JK: What are you talking about? It’s a classic smell!

Me: What are you both arguing about?

JS: He uses Brut cologne. I told him that the fragrance doesn’t suit him. He wont listen to me!

JK: Dude! It’s Brut! It’s a classic fragrance!

JS: It’s gives off an old-man-like-smell!

JK: Look! It’s Brut! Argument closed!

JS: Whatever! Don’t complain if I’m always standing far away from you!

JK: Dude!

Me: Yeah?

JK: You have used Brut right?

Me: Yes… Once upon a time…

JK: Tell me, which woman doesn’t like the smell of Brut? It’s a classic musk smell!

Me: Ummmm…. Women who don’t have any daddy issues, don’t like Brut? Because it reminds them of that “Old Man Smell”….

JS: Aha! Told you!

JK: Chu….!

Me: Hahaha!

 

lol

 

Things People Say And All…

Le Gf and I were watching the re-run of the 2015 Grammy Awards.

Me: You know, Sam Smith won four Grammy awards today!

Le Gf: Who’s Sam Smith?

Me: You don’t know him?

Le Gf: No…

Me: He’s this gay singer…

*Le Gf shoots me a look that said*

“How could you say that?”

“You think you’re better than everyone else?”

“Just because you don’t like someone’s music, that means that they’re gay?”

“You think you have a better taste in music than everyone else?”

“You are so judgmental!”

“How could you be so intolerant?”

“Who are you to decide what music genre is “cool”?”

“Jeez, you’re so condescending!”  

*What she actually said*

Le Gf: Hmmmm… Okay…

*Sam Smith comes on stage*

Sam Smith: I want to thank the man who this record is about, who I fell in love with last year…. By breaking my heart, you got me four Grammys.

Le Gf: So…. He’s actually gay….?

Me: Yeah… That’s what I said, he’s a gay singer…

Le Gf: No.. Yes… I heard that… I just thought that you were being….

Me: Nasty? Profiling? Intolerant?

Le Gf: Errrr….

Me: Jeez….

Le Gf: My bad….

 

adele shit happens