The Best Nirvana Poster Ever!

*Another Nirvana related incident*

*Meeting up with a friend after a couple of months*

Friend: Blah..Blah..Blah..

Me: Blah..Blah..Blah..

Friend: Blah..Blah..Blah..

Me: Blah..Blah..Blah..

Friend: Blah..Blah..Blah..

Me: Blah..Blah..Blah..

Friend: By the way….

Me: What?

Friend: I saw this awesome Nirvana poster!

Me: Where?

Friend: I can’t remember it now…

Me: Ok……

Friend: But it was really different from the usual ones.

Me: I see….

*Later, we headed back to my place for more drinking*

Friend: Now I remember where I saw the Nirvana poster!

Me: Where?

Friend: Your room!

Me: Hahahaha!

Friend: Yeah…….

dave gorhl

The Nirvana Kingslayer!

*On a date*

*Wearing my Kingslayer T-shirt*

Date: Blah..Blah..Blah..

Me: Blah..Blah..Blah..

Date: Blah..Blah..Blah..

Me: Blah..Blah..Blah..

Date: Blah..Blah..Blah..

Me: Blah..Blah..Blah..

Date: By the way….

Me: Yeah?

Date: I love your Nirvana T-Shirt!

Me: My what?

*Pointing at my T-shirt*

Date: Your Nirvana T-shirt! The one that you’re wearing right now! I love Kurt Cobain!

Me: Ummm…. That’s Jaime Lannister!

Date: Who?

Me: The Kingslayer!

Date: Who?

Me: Do you even watch The Game of Thrones?

Date: Nope! Never! No time for that!

Me: ……….

*Awkward Silence*

jaime-lannister

The Jailbait!

I was at NH7 Weekender, Bangalore. AR Rahman was playing and the atmosphere was electric. I had just met this cute chick near the bar area, we got talking and we headed to watch AR Rahman together.

*AR Rahman starts playing*

Cute Chick: OMG! OMG! OMG! It’s AR!

Me: Yeah….. I know, I can see!

Cute Chick: OMG! OMG! It’s like a dream come true!

*She then proceeds to jump and wave her hands for the next ten minutes*

Me: Jeez! Calm down!

Cute Chick: I can’t! I’m just too excited!

Me: Oh god! How old are you? 21?

Cute Chick: Ummmmmm…. Yes….

Me: Oh….

Cute Chick: Yeah…..

*Awkward Silence*

*After what seemed like an eternity*

Me: So yeah…. AR Rahman is killing it!

Cute Chick: I know, right!

*Disaster Averted!*

st-lucia-help-me-run-away

 

Got Sanitizer?

Till about 8-9 years ago, I had no idea what a sanitizer was. I just assumed that it was a women’s hygiene product. You know, because of the word sanitary in it.

On numerous occasions, My Gf (back then) mentioned the word sanitizer and of course it didn’t make any sense to me. But then again, I was too embarrassed to ask her about it.

Scene #1

Her:  Instead of carrying napkins, I carry a sanitizer. It’s so much easy to carry.

Me: Ummmm… Ok….

 

Scene #2

Her: Sometimes I like playing with my sanitizer.

Me: Errrrr…. Why?

Her: Because it smells really nice…

Me: Ummmmm… Ok…

 

Scene #3

Me: Man, I forgot to get a handkerchief! Now I have to wipe my hands on my jeans!

Her: Don’t do that!

Me: Do you have wet wipes?

Her: No but I have a sanitizer.

Me: And what’s it supposed to do?

Her: Here!

*Pulls out a little bottle and squirts some clear gel like thing on to my palms*

Me: Errrrr….

Her: Now rub your palms together!

Me: Wow… My hands… are clean!

Her: See! Carrying a sanitizer at all times helps!

Me: So that’s what a sanitizer is!

Her: Huh? What did you think it was?

Me: Something like a sanitary pad?

Her: #Facepalm

 

reaction-lauging-lold

Yes, that really happened!

 

Deliciously Delectable!

AB and I were out for lunch at Toit.

AB: Have you decided what you’re planning to have?

Me: No… Pass me the menu.

AB: Here

*Passes me the menu*

*As I was scrolling through the menu, a gorgeous woman passed by our table*

Me: I know what I’m having!

AB: Oh yeah….! Good choice, man!

*AB starts grinning*

Me: What?

AB: Oh….

Me: What?

AB: When you said, “I know what I’m having”, you were talking about food right?

Me: Yup… And you assumed that I was talking about that hot chick that passed by our table?

AB: Yup….

Me: Douche…

AB: My bad…

 

Awekard_NewGirl

That Burn!

Talking to my friend ANJ about my obsession with graphic t-shirts.

Me: I’m into graphic t-shirts.

ANJ: Uh…Huh…

Me: Check my X-men t-shirt!

ANJ: Uh….Huh…

Me: What? It’s pretty awesome!

ANJ: You know…

Me: What?

ANJ: Unless you’re a chick, no one really gives a shit about what’s on your t-shirt!

Me: Ouch….

ANJ: Yup…..

#Burn

burn

MAMA MIA!

Our office had recently adopted a kitten. I was on leave on the day that it had happened. When I went to office the next day, I was very surprised to hear that she was named Mia Khalifa. Yes, you read that right.

Me: So you guys named the cat Mia Khalifa?

LB: Yeah… She’s Wiz Khalifa’s cousin, right?

Me: Well…

DB: Of course, she is!

Me: Yes, I had forgotten!

LB: I like that name…

Us: *suppressing laughter* Okies! 

*After 30 mins*

LB: Wait a min! WB come here!

WB: What?

LB: I know who Mia Khalifa is!

WB: Wiz Khalifa’s cousin!

LB: She’s a pornstar!

WB: The worlds best pornstar!

LB: Arrrrghhh!

Me: You really didn’t know who Mia Khalifa was?

LB: No!

Me: You must be living under a rock!

LB: Chu…

parks-and-recreation-surprised

Wanna see the little monster?

IMG_20150920_165733