After a survey, here’s a compiled list things I say after five (or more) rounds of whiskey.
In no particular order:
When meeting a friend after a long time:
Me: Why don’t you come over more often?
Friend: Haven’t you heard?
Friend: Distance makes the heart grow fonder!
Me: Bullsh*t! Distance makes the wrists grow stronger!
Friend: Is it?
When everyone is dancing to ghati songs at 3 am:
Me: What is wrong with everyone?
Everyone: Come join us!
Me: No way!
Everyone: C’mon, it’s fun!
Me: I’m going to disown you all!
When an acquaintance is trying to chat up my gf:
Me: Bro! Bro! Bro! Bro! Bro! Bro! Bro! Bro!
Me: Bro, you’re barking up the wrong tree, bro…
Taking control of the music at a party:
Everyone: Dude! Play some Trap music man!
Me: How about no?
Everyone: C’mon! Don’t spoil the party!
Me: How about I educate you all on good music?
Everyone: Dude, please! Play that song!
Me: Oh my god! Look at the no. of f***s I give!
Everyone: Oh lord…..
With a random hottie at a club:
Hottie: Can I dance with your friend (female)?
Me: Sure thing baby. Whatever gets your motor running!
Frequent phrases also include:
- No shit, Sherlock!
- Totally, bro!
- Whatever helps you sleep at night.
- How about no?
- C**** ka baal!
To be continued…..