The Quesadilla Incident

I was chilling at Le Gf’s house after work.

Le Gf: Hey baby! Guess what?

Me: What?

Le Gf: I was out for lunch today and picked up some Goan sausage filled queasadillas for you!

Me: Oh wow! Really?

Le Gf: Yup! You like Goan sausages right?

Me: Yeah, LOVE them!

Le Gf: 😀

*Later at home*

Mom: What’s that food in the fridge? You got some food packed last night?

Me: No… Le Gf was out for lunch, so she picked it up for me.

Mom: Looks like one of the pieces is missing.

Me: Yeah, she ordered it for herself then got it packed for me since I love Goan sausages so much! 

Mom: Seems more like she wants you to eat red meat so that she doesn’t have to eat them!

Me: Pffft…. Yeah, right!

Mom: I’m telling you!

*Later that week at Le Gf’s house*

Me: Guess what? 

Le Gf: What?

Me: I think my mom’s gone bonkers!

Le Gf: Why?

Me: She thinks that you got those quesadillas for me because you don’t want to eat red meat and shizz….

Le Gf: Ummmmm….

Me: Crazy right?

 Le Gf: She’s quite spot on actually….

Me: Whaaat?

Le Gf: But I love you, no…..

Me: #FACEPALM

wait-what-gif

But First, Let Me Get Talli!

We were shooting the official Bangalore selfie video.  I called up Le Gf to tell her the good news.

Me: Guess what?

Le Gf: What?

Me: Guess who is shooting the official Bangalore selfie video?

Le Gf: OH MY GOD! I want my dog to be in it!

Me: Errrrr…?

Le Gf: I want my dog to be in the video!

Me: I don’t know who will have the final creative control.

Le Gf: As your girlfriend, I demand that you put my dog in the video!

Me: Jeez…

Le Gf: I need you to come through on this for me!

Me: Fine! The things I do for love….

Le Gf: Yay! <3 <3 <3. Also, I want my dog to appear when the chick says “should I use XX pro or Valencia”!

Me: #facepalm

buffy-meme-gif

BTW, here’s the video! And yes, her dog is in it. 😀

 

The Downside Of Upside!

The Le Gf and I were having a random conversation.

Le Gf: What do you think will happen if we broke up?

Me: I dunno… Would be awkward I guess..

Le Gf: Why?

Me: Well, we have loads of mutual friends. You get along with all my friends; you’re good friends with most of them. So it would be awkward if they had to choose sides.

 Le Gf: Well, all that won’t matter to me…

Me: Why so?

Le Gf: When I break up with someone, I just cut all contacts with that person, social circle, etc..

MeUh…Huh… Dramatic much?

Le Gf: I’m like this only… When I break up with someone, I’ll just disappear from their life… No drama… No nothing….

Me: Oh my god! That’s the sweetest thing I’ve heard!

Le Gf: Eh?

Me: No drama, no nothing… It’ll be so peaceful!

Le Gf: You bitch!

Me: 😛

bullshit-gif

The Driver!

I called up Le Gf.

Me: How’s the thunderstorm your side of town?

Le Gf: Pretty good! Lots of rain! How come you’re back home already?

Me: How’d you know that I’m back home?

Le Gf: Very easy, Sherlock. You asked me how the weather is at my side of town. If you were at office, you’d have known. Your office is next to my house, remember?

Me: Oh yeah…. Point….

Le Gf: What? You’d think I’m some dumb blonde huh?

Me: So anyhow…..

Le Gf: Hmph!

Me: So, there’s this section in my apartment, where it gets waterlogged during rains. The water is about one – two feet atleast!

Le Gf: So?

Me: It’s fun to see cars get stuck there!

Le Gf: So?

Me: So, nothing! I love driving there in first gear and splash water on everyone!

Le Gf: You’re such a bad driver! Splashing water on everyone! And you call me bad?

Me: You are a BAD driver! You’re very rash! When you drive, people jump out of the way!

Le Gf: Jeez!

Me: Looking at your driving, it’s so evident that you’re from Hyderabad! 

Le Gf: Really?

Me: Yes!

Le Gf: Oh my god! I’ve been never so proud of myself!

Me: Wait! What?

Le Gf: I’m so proud of myself! I’m a Hyderabadi, out and out! 

Me: #WTF!?

what-gif

PS: It had rained 3000 mm that day.

The Greatest Gift!

After my birthday.

Me: Wow, my birthday was such a treat!

Le Gf: I’m glad that you liked it.

Me: Thanks for everything!

Le Gf: You’re welcome!

Me: Now that you’ve set the expectation so high, I’ll have to better that on your birthday!

Le Gf: That’s fine babe, I really don’t want anything!

Me: You sure?

Le Gf: Totally!

*The next day*

Le Gf: You know….

Me: What?

Le Gf: If you really get me something for my birthday….

Me: Go on….

Le Gf: Get me that truck from Death Race!

Me: What?

Le Gf: This:

Death_race_dragon

Me: #Facepalm!

not-sure-why-gif

 

 

There’s No Such Thing As Too Many Dates!

Driving back home from a house party.

JK: Dude!

Me: Yeah?

JK: Dude, that hot chick took my number!

Me: Awesome!

JK: No dude! She wants to meet at Humming Tree later this week.

Le Gf: So what’s the problem?

Me: What’s your problem exactly?

JK: Ummmmm….

Le Gf: Are you broke?

JK: Yeah…

Me: How broke?

JK: Very broke!

Me: Jeez… Fine tell her that you don’t wanna drink, smoke some weed instead!

Le Gf: Yeah, as simple as that!

JK: Don’t have money for that too!

Le Gf: How broke are you?

Me: Dude, she’s got weed on her. Cool?

JK: How’d you know?

Me: Cos I asked her to roll for me, earlier today!

JK: Awesome! It’s set then!

Le Gf: You’re such a schmuck!

Me: It’s JK, what did you expect?

JK: Chu…!

Me: 😛

 

judging-you

The LG Flatron!

At a house party.

Me: Guess what?

Le Gf: What?

Me: We’re doing  a couple of posters on prevention of sexual harassment for your office.

Le Gf: Yuck, really?

Me: Yup!

Le Gf: And..?

Me: The concept is that, there will be picture of me, telling people what constitutes as a “good touch” and what’s a “bad touch”.

Le Gf: Really?

Me: Yup!

Le Gf: Dude… If this thing shows up at my office, I’m gonna break up with you!

Me: What? Why?

Le Gf: Can you imagine? I’d have to tell people that the guy in the sexual harassment poster is my boyfriend!

Me: So what’s the downside?

Le Gf: YOU ARE NOT GOING AHEAD WITH THIS STUPID IDEA OF YOURS! GOT IT?

Me: Jeez…. Drama queen much?

Le Gf: Hmph!

Me: It’s a joke, alright?

Le Gf: Thank god!

Me: Where’s your sense of humor? 

Le Gf: That was gross, ok?

Me: We’re going to use a flat design, alright?

Le Gf: What’s that?

Me: It’s a design principle.

Le Gf: So you people use only flat chested models for the pictures? Is that what flat design is all about? 

Me: #ROLFMAO!

Le Gf: What?

Me: No, you dumbass! 

Le Gf: What the f***?

Me: Flat design means that it’s a minimalist design with bright colors. The picture looks flat as opposed to having a 3-D like appearance. Comprende?

Le Gf: Oh…. My bad..

Me: No shit, Sherlock!

Le Gf: Bitch..

 

whatever-gif