Have noticed that whenever stoners get together and talk about smoking weed, no one says – Let’s smoke some weed. They all say:
“Wanna smoke up?”
“Wanna get high?”
“Wanna take a hit?”
“Wanna meet my friend, Mary / Mary Jane?”
“Wanna do a few F-16s”?
“Wanna take a few drags?”
But my all-time favourite is – “Wanna send, bro?”
I had no idea that this phrase existed. So obviously, when my friend JP had called up after he met with an accident, this happened…
Me: How’s your leg?
JP: It’s good. So listen… I gotta a parcel to send, you want to come over?
Me: Where’d you want to send the parcel?
JP: I mean, I have something to send…..
Me: I got that, where’d you wanna send it?
JP: Bro, you’re not getting it, I want to send… a P.A.R.C.E.L….
Me: I G.O.T that…. What parcel is it?
JP: The type which you send….
Me: You send all parcels! Is this a special parcel that you wanna send?
JP: Yes bro, it’s a special parcel. If you’d know what I mean!
Me: Wait now! Is this an actual parcel that you want me to courier for you or is this some metaphorical parcel that you want me to send? If it’s the second one, how do you metaphorically send it???
JP: Oh god! Dude, do you want to come over and smoke some weed?
Me: Jeez! Why couldn’t you say so?!
JP: I just did! I said that that I had a parcel to send! Get it?? Send it!
Me: How the f*** am I supposed to know that sending means smoking?
JP: Everyone does bro, stoners code bro…