Thick As A Wall!

My dad at times is as thick as a wall. I think it’s due to mid life crisis. My mom calls it man-o-pause. According to her, similar to menopause, men undergo a this where they go all crabby and cranky at everything. They start regretting all the things they haven’t done in life such driving a Ferrari convertible through the streets of Monaco or sailing on a yacht off the coast of Ibiza.

Location: At home

Time: After a long day at work

*Action*

Me: Guess what happened in office today?

Dad: You guys got that big client on board?

Me: Even better!

Dad: You guys got two big clients on board?

Me: Meh! The microwave in the office exploded!

Dad: What? How?

Me: Someone decided to boil an egg and they put it the whole egg!

Dad: And?

Me: The microwave exploded!

Dad: What you mean exploded?

Me: It exploded! The glass dish was shattered and the door was blown off the hinge!

Dad: How it the glass break?

Me: Because the egg exploded!

Dad: How is that possible?

Me: I dunno! Apparently you’re not supposed to boil eggs in the microwave.

Dad: Alright.

Me: You should have seen the mess! The egg and shiz was all over the kitchen floor!

Dad: You seem very excited at the thought of the broken microwave!

Me: Jeez! Who died and made the king of party-pooper-ville?

Dad: Errrr?

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This was written as a part of Indiblogger and Cadbury Five Star‘s #ConditionSeriousHai contest.

A Taste Of My Own Medicine…

I was parking my car near office. My office that is. Just clarifying.

*Random guy walks upto me*

Him: Sir!

Me: Yeah?

Him: You have a dent on your car!

Me: No sh*t, Sherlock.

Him: Would you like to get rid of it?

*I’d knew that this conversation was heading towards some cheap street product*

Me: No. 

Him: What? You don’t want your car repaired? 

Me: Yes, I do. Obviously!

Him: I got this product! Really good! It’ll repair all dents and scratches! 

Me: No thanks!

Him: It’s is really good! Let me show you a demo!

Me: Dude! No need! I’ll get fixed at the service center! 

Him: Sir, this is much cheaper! The service center will charge you 8000! This is 1000! 1/8th of the cost!

Me: Dude! I’m not interested alright? 

Him: Ok sir, have a good day. 

Me: You too!

Him: Aapki condition serious hai! 

Me: What the %^&*? 

*That guy walks away grinning ear to ear*

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This was written as a part of Indiblogger and Cadbury Five Star‘s #ConditionSeriousHai contest.

I Hate That Smelly Stubble!

This post is a part of the Protest Against Smelly Stubble Activity in association with BlogAdda.

It was winter time and I was feeling too lazy to shave, so growing a beard seemed like a good idea. At first, my girlfriend was thrilled that I had decided to change my look. I had been sporting a goatee beard since I graduated from college and the look was getting tiresome.

Week 1:

GF: Oh, my… I really like your new stubble, reminds me of Imran Khan!

Me: Oh, god… You’re making me blush!

 

Week 2:

GF: Oh my cute teddybear….! Looks like Christmas came early this year!

Me: Oh, god… You’re making me blush!

 

Week 3:

GF: Oh god! Your stubble is begging to itch my face everytime we kiss!

Me: Didn’t you love it last week?!

GF: Yeah! That was last week! It was good then! Now it’s itchy!

Me: Fine! I’ll shave!

GF: When?

Me: Soon!

 

Week 4:

GF: Why haven’t you shaved yet?

Me: It’s too cold!

GF: I hate that smelly stubble!

Me: But I like it!

GF: Ok fine! Here’s an ultimatum! Either you get rid of your smelly stubble or you’re sleeping on the couch!

Me: Oh god! Fine! I’ll shave! Happy?

GF: Shave first!

*I finally shaved after five weeks. Sigh, after all this I would expect that my clean shaved look bowled her over!*

GF: So you shaved!

Me: Yes!

GF: You look so fair and cute….

Me: Thank god!

GF: Like a baby…… Nah, I liked you better with a stubble!

Me: You what! Why did you make shave?

GF: Hahaha! Just kidding! 

Me: Phew!

 

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