Got Sanitizer?

Till about 8-9 years ago, I had no idea what a sanitizer was. I just assumed that it was a women’s hygiene product. You know, because of the word sanitary in it.

On numerous occasions, My Gf (back then) mentioned the word sanitizer and of course it didn’t make any sense to me. But then again, I was too embarrassed to ask her about it.

Scene #1

Her:  Instead of carrying napkins, I carry a sanitizer. It’s so much easy to carry.

Me: Ummmm… Ok….

 

Scene #2

Her: Sometimes I like playing with my sanitizer.

Me: Errrrr…. Why?

Her: Because it smells really nice…

Me: Ummmmm… Ok…

 

Scene #3

Me: Man, I forgot to get a handkerchief! Now I have to wipe my hands on my jeans!

Her: Don’t do that!

Me: Do you have wet wipes?

Her: No but I have a sanitizer.

Me: And what’s it supposed to do?

Her: Here!

*Pulls out a little bottle and squirts some clear gel like thing on to my palms*

Me: Errrrr….

Her: Now rub your palms together!

Me: Wow… My hands… are clean!

Her: See! Carrying a sanitizer at all times helps!

Me: So that’s what a sanitizer is!

Her: Huh? What did you think it was?

Me: Something like a sanitary pad?

Her: #Facepalm

 

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Yes, that really happened!

 

Tequila, Mi Amor!

I was at The Humming Tree for a concert and I happen to run into some of my old college buddies. I got pretty excited on seeing them, lots of hugs going around and other weird male bonding stuff. Probably because I was four beers down. Anyways, I was feeling happy and I ordered a round of tequila for everyone.

Yeah, not a smart idea.

Me: Cheers everyone!

College Buddy: Cheers!

*After 20 mins*

Me: Buy us a round of beer, buddy!

College Buddy: Actually, I’m not drinking tonight!

Me: What! How come?

College Buddy: Well, I quit drinking!

Me: Why?

College Buddy: Just staying sober!

Me: Alright then, I won’t force you!

College Buddy: Cool man!

Me: Alright, catch ya later!

*After 30 mins*

Me: What the…. He just drank the tequila that I bought for him! That S.O.B! He said that he quit drinking!

*That MOFO*

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The Hot Seat!

I went to dinner with some of my classmates from college. FF was in town and he suggested that we’d all meet up for dinner. I wasn’t really excited, nevertheless I hadn’t seen anyone from college in the past five years. So, I’d thought, seems like good idea. I wanted to go drinking. I suggested Gilly’s in Koramangala, just in case these guys were price sensitive. Soon messages and calls started pouring in with excuses such as:

No dude, no booze…

I have a throat infection

I have office tomorrow

I don’t want to drink and drive

Fine, I let them choose the place and they decided on a place called Kritunga in Koramangala. It was a Rayalseema restaurant (like mainstream Andhra food wasn’t spicy enough).

There was no away I could face them sober, I decided to *send some* before meeting them. I reached there and this happened.

So the whole evening, they asked me these 10 questions. That’s it. We didn’t talk about anything else.

  1. Where do you live?
  2. When are you getting married?
  3. Where do you work?
  4. Where is your office?
  5. Whom do you stay with?
  6. What time do you reach office?
  7. How far is your office from your home?
  8. What time do leave office in the evening?
  9. How do you travel to office?
  10. What do you do for lunch?

Like wow.

Mind blown.

So much wow.

KMN

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