This is a compilation, since these are all one liners.
Scene #1: Talking to a new colleague
Me: Hey! Found your way to the office fine?
Him: Yeah! It’s very easy. I saw the route on Google Maps.
Me: Oh cool.
Him: I didn’t know that Bangalore is like America!
Me: Huh..? What?
Him: Yeah, see it’s all blocks and crosses! 1st Block..2nd Block…1st Cross..2nd Cross.. Just like in America!
Scene #2: I’m at a mobile shop
Me: Hey! Do you have a screen guard for the Nexus 4?
Shop Guy: Which model is this?
Me: Errrr… Nexus 4.
Shop Guy: Huh? Show me the phone!
*I give him my phone*
*He fiddles around it for 5 mins! I swear he was looking for porn*
Shop Guy: Oh.. This model is Nexus 4.
Me: No sh*t!
Scene #3: Me asking my crush out
Me: Hey…. I was wondering, if you wanna go out with me..?
Girl: Yeah! Sure! Where?
Me: Errrrr…. Nevermind!