About two years back, I had gone to Gokarna with my (now ex) girlfriend and her best friend. Since it was only the three of us, we decided to share a room. Before any of you can go *bow-chicka-bow-wow*, let me clarify – Nothing happened.
Anyways, on the journey back, the seats on our bus were riddled with bed bugs and by the time we got back to Bangalore, all our exposed areas ( mostly arms and back) were covered with nasty bed bug bites.
I wore a half sleeve shirt to my office that day.
*My colleague, JD walks upto me*
JD: So dude, I heard that you went to Gokarna with two hotties! Is that true?
Me: Yeah. That’s true!
JD: That’s sexy dude! So f***ing sexy!
Me: Hahaha… Relax…..
JD: So did you get any? Let me guess, you had a threesome! Right?
Me: No man…. Nothing happened.
JD: Did you share a bed?
Me: Yeah, the bed was big.
JD: Man, I knew it! You player!!
Me: Dude! Believe me! Nothing happened!
*He looks at my bed bug bites*
JD: Oh..My..God! Look at those hickeys!
Me: Huh? What?
JD: How do you explain those hickeys!
Me: Dude! These are bug bites man! Bed bugs! The bus was full of them!
JD: No way man! No way!
Me: Oh lord! Why is it so hard for you to believe that nothing happened?
JD: You went to Gokarna with two hotties, you shared a bed with two hotties and you come back with hickeys to prove that you got some action. Man, you’re a poon hound man!
Me: Dude! These are not hickeys! These are bug bites!
JD: I wasn’t born yesterday, you know… I know a hickey when I see one.
Me: Well, these are hickeys, why would they be on my arms? My frigging arms! It would be on my neck or something!
JD: I dunno… Maybe those hotties had some crazy fetish?
Me: Well, no. And if you think these are hickeys, I have no idea to which whore house you’ve been to, because these are not HICKEYS!
JD: Hahaha… Nice try, you stud!
PS: Nothing happened!