No Country For Vegetarians

On my birthday, I treat I’m forced to treat my friends. The difference being, instead of taking them out to a pub, I get to call them home and treat them to delicious home cooked meal. My mom is a great f***ing awesome cook. And my friends love her cooking as well.

On one such occasion.

Me: Ma, I need to treat my friends for my birthday. 

Mom: Alright, no problem. But you need to do all the shopping.

Me: Sure. I’ll take take of that.

Mom: So, who are all coming? 

Me: The usual gang, plus MS and CG.

Mom: Alright. What dishes do you want me to make. 

Me: Same thing that you make every year. Biriyani, mutton, chicken, prawn and fish fry. 

Mom: Phew, that’s a relief!

Me: And paneer and gobi (cauliflower) for CG and MS.

Mom: Why especially for them?

Me: Because they are vegetarians..

Mom: Omg, now I have to cook for them too.  Extra work for me. 

Me: Big deal. It’s just two dishes.

Mom: No. I’ll have to make dal and something dry as well. It’s not like they can eat the……. Oh wait, now I have make veg pulao for them too!

Me: Or just plain rice?

Mom: Nah, that won’t look good… You know that, don’t call them. Simple.

Me: Hahahahaha! Right!

Mom: I’m serious…

Me: Errrr…..

*Later that week*

CG: Hey! When’s your birthday treat?

Me: Ummmmm…. Not happening..

CG Why not?!

Me: Logistical issues.

CG: Like what?

Me: My mom doesn’t wanna cook vegetarian food, so…..

CG: Say what? No vegetarian food? This is OUTRAGEOUS!

Me: Errrrrr…..




Photo courtesy: Micheal Murphy.

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